Tread of Lies

Summer has definitely come in full swing and the rays are hard to miss. The mere thought of going outside makes me glisten a little and feel the urge to sun block any body part that may become exposed to this giant ball of fire. It’s hot. And you know it’s hot when you get in your car to drive to the gym and it says 99. You know it’s disgustingly and offensively hot when 20ish minutes later you’re parking at the gym and your car says 102. Ugh. Maybe Fall will not be as abusive during its 3 month visit this year. Especially in the beginning of October, please.

Since it has been so hot I’ve taken to running at the gym. I’ve had a membership at the YMCA for a few months now in hopes it would keep me motivated to work out or at least guilty enough to use the membership so I don’t waste the money. Whatever the reason, the push still exists. When I first joined the Y I was excited. I loved pulling the “princess workout” card that came fully equipped with treadmills, air conditioning and the ability to watch & listen to my favorite TV shows while I worked out. It seemed about the most comfortable conditions to work out in. A ground that moved for me while I ran. Cool air that continually surrounded me and blew in my face. Old episodes of Friends and America’s Next Top Model playing for me to gawk at while keeping my body moving. It was about as close to the laziest work out I could imagine and I loved it at the time.

As much as I hate the giant hills and blazing sun when running outside, the thought of working out at the Y has lost its appeal. The glory that once surrounded it has faded. I love running outside. There’s so much to take in and I think I get caught up in the craziness of life and forget what’s real in the world. Outside running allows me to see lots of different people. People with dogs. People without dogs. Couples walking. Old people running. This will sound very silly, but the smells are nothing to miss out on, either. Fresh cut grass on a Saturday morning. Car exhaust coming from some silly driver who sped by and I get a good laugh out of. The best so far as been when I reached the top of the beastly hill one day. I caught a huge whiff of Bounce sheets coming from the dryer vent of somebody’s house on the corner. It was awesome and, admittedly, I ran a little slower to sniff a little more. Nothing like fresh smelling laundry, folks. Especially when you’re running and feel like you need to safety pin about 50 of those things to your body just so you don’t injure anyone with your funk. But that’s beside the point. I have been enlightened to the world of running outside in a cute little community with housing developments, sights and smells that far outweigh the Americanized benefits of the “princess workout.”

Against my own free will (literally, or I’d die) I’ve been running at the Y on the treadmill. The treadmill sucks. Yes, it moves for you and yes, it can set a pace for you, but it lies. My Nike iPod running chip and the treadmill are definitely at odds. When I’m running an 11 minute mile on the treadmill (at a 5.5) my iPod claims it’s a 9 minute mile. Uhhh, what? I drove the distance today and my iPod chip is only off by about .2 miles. I’m okay with that. Sure, it’ll make a difference in the long run, but if I’m running 5 miles then what’s one extra to compensate for some inaccuracies? I’m not okay with feeling like I’m about to die on the treadmill only to be told I’m running a flippin’ 11 minute mile. Lies. All lies. I feel like I’m flying on the treadmill at 5.5 and that if I ran any faster my legs would surely fly out from beneath me and I’d take off, literally, flying. Maybe I’m just slower than I thought, but it is quite disappointing to have the treadmill drop a big one on what your iPod tells you when it’s such good news. I may be okay with a compromise here—a 10 minute mile was my goal anyway. Is it legal to merge the two results and just call it a day? Or I may just believe the iPod. Vernon (that’s my iPod) has never wronged me before. The treadmill, however, and I are still at odds.

In other news, I think I’ve hit my first plateau. I’ve been running 2-3 miles for speed and anywhere from 3-5 for distance. I need to start upping the ante here if I have any hope of making it to 13 miles by October. My goal is really to run 15 before the big race just so I don’t psych myself out the day of knowing that 13 is all I have in me. I want to be able to enjoy running across the finish line…not sounding like a smoker who is about to need an oxygen tank to wheel behind them. And, oh, update on the EIR and rhinorrhea: the Zyrtec does, in fact, reduce effects of rhinorrhea when exercising. I can’t say it completely stops the flow of things, but it does get it under control somewhat. I still have yet to take it a full hour before exercising so this information may be a little skewed. More updates will follow as my memory hopefully increases and I can remember to take the Zyrtec more than 40 minutes before running. I will conquer the rhinorrhea and be a survivor.

Today’s deep thoughts while running: Find inventor of the treadmill. Shake their hand then immediately punch them in the face 11 times…one for each minute of the mile they claim it takes me to run in.

Today’s Stats (according to the iPod, of course!): 2.45 miles, 21.19 minutes, 0 walking breaks.