A Saturday Morning Run with Asafa Powell

Before you Google him like I’m sure you were tempted to Google EIR and rhinorrhea yesterday, Asafa Powell is one of Jamaica’s fastest sprinters and has competed in multiple Olympic Games. This past round he only finished fifth…pity. I’m pretty sure he was running next to me today in spirit because I felt like I was booking it and not tiring as quickly. Maybe it was because it was about 5 degrees cooler outside today. Maybe it was because I went in knowing I was going to work on speed vs. endurance. Maybe, just maybe it was because I had originally intended on avoiding the hill ‘o hell today. Whatever the reason, my run was amazing. Stellar, really. I felt good and I took a Zyrtec about 20-30 minutes before I ran so I didn’t feel the rhinorrhea was as debilitating. (Hopefully it really works and wasn’t just a one day, psychological solution.) It wasn’t the longest run ever. It was less than 3 miles. I’ve done that a bunch of times. For some reason this one felt different. Less burdensome, more empowering.

I’m going to get a little deep today so if you strongly prefer all the humor and are adverse to “real” talk, you may want to consider flipping to one of your other blogs you keep up with. The true theme of my half-marathon journey is “Undignified.” I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t for spiritual growth reasons, but I’d also be lying if I said it wasn’t for personal goal reasons. The literal definition of “undignified” is: lacking in or damaging to dignity. Synonyms of this word can be discomposed, inelegant, unseemly, inappropriate, unsuitable, improper, unbecoming, or unrefined. (Thanks, thefreedictionary.com!) Now, reading all that you would never assume it’d be something anyone would desire to strive for. Unless it is attention-seeking behavior, no one ever thinks it awesome to be any of those things. We always want to fit in and just slide through life unnoticed. Many times we’re ashamed to put ourselves out there for fear of rejection. Everyone wants to seem dignified, having it all together and feeling comfortable. Well, I’m tired of it, personally. Why do I need to work so hard to impress the person to the right of me whose opinion shouldn’t really dictate my behavior anyway? What are they going to do? Reject me? And then what? Slander me? Then?

A conversation I’ve had with myself multiple times lately centers on relationships. I often felt defeated after I graduated high school and college because I knew relationships I had made were inevitably going to fizzle out. I wanted to stay in college forever because of the community and acceptance. Moving out of the dorms, transitioning to an in-between stage of having a roommate (and a great one, at that!) and now living on my own has really shown me that the people in your life who matter will always be there in some way or another. It may be through weekly phone calls. It may be through random Facebook messages. It may just be that you went to see their baby 6 months after he was born and had a wonderful conversation with the mom & dad. When you’re in middle school, quantity really does matter. You want to be well-liked and that’s the way it is shown. When you start to grow up you realize quality is more important and you would rather be loved than just well-liked. That doesn’t always mean a phone or dinner date every day.

So what does all this have to do with being undignified? I’m glad you asked. At 24, I’m starting to see what is good and right in this world (or I’d like to think so). I’m been blessed abundantly with good people in my life, a faith that is unchanging, a job I love and I’ve learned/been taught how to take care of myself in a pretty acceptable way. I feel like I’ve got the tools I need and now it’s time to hang on to all of that (with an open hand) and let my true “unrefinedness” show itself in big ways. I want to challenge things. Push myself. Fail. See things from a different perspective. Be honest (yet loving) with those closest to me. Not lean on the temporal nature of fear, but the eternal nature of faith. The list could go on, but at the end of the day I want to know that I didn’t play it safe and that when I’m hurt, broken and bruised that all those aforementioned blessings are waiting for me in the wings to pick me up and nurse me back to health so I can do it all again.

The Run for the Booty is just an outward, physical reflection of all this. Please don’t think that when I’m running I think about all of this and the goal is always clear. It’s definitely not. I get tired, I think unholy thoughts and still say bad words when I hurt. But though the goal is not always clear it is, in fact, always there and I’ll keep running—physically and through the rest of my life. Hopefully it’s in an undignified way.

Today’s Stats: 2.88 miles, 26.01 minutes, 0 walking breaks. 77 degrees. Avg. mile: 9.01 miles/hr.